It’s me.
I’m the one in the way.
When I distract myself with the screen in front of my face.
When I snooze the alarm.
When I take the edge off with a drink or three.
When I shift priorities or move the goal posts. Again.
When I ignore the thing I know I should do.
When I look for the excuse not to do it.
All of this exists between the ears.
My ears.
And just maybe (likely), your ears.
There is the external reality of our circumstances.
And there is the internal reality of ourselves.
The former is largely unmovable. Indifferent to our desires.
The latter…largely moveable. And certainly not indifferent to our desires.
In fact, the more we move toward positive change, the less indifferent it becomes; the more it tries to remain the same. Because no matter how great our desire, the body and mind are conditioned to stay in the familiar present. It may be an imperfect present, but it’s one our bodies and minds know how to navigate.
And so we stay. Stuck. Getting in our own way. Again.
They call it self-sabotage.
I call it standard operating procedures.
One of my favorite books, by one of my favorite teachers, is perfectly titled:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.
Because that’s what the above describes.
The persistent human desire to improve. Only hindered by the persistent human desire to remain the same.
We - the daily experience of ourselves - are a habit.
Or more accurately, an amalgamation of habits that collectively feel a lot like us.
When we understand that this is our default mode, it means we don’t have to view getting in our own way as a bad thing.
Of course we get in our own way.
By design. And we shouldn’t expect anything else.
Our self-sabotage is a yield sign, not a stop sign. It’s protective. Signals to pay attention. Because our default mode is simply trying to survive. And there is no use for thriving in the world of surviving.
The procrastination is a signal.
The desire to numb is a signal.
The pull to give up is a signal.
The constant scanning for an out - an excuse - is a signal.
A signal that you’re doing the work to change.
Move through it. Because that’s exactly what should be happening.
We are the one in the way.
Yet, we are also the one in control of getting out of the way.
The duality of the human experience. We contain both the problem and the solution. The question and the answer.
Yield, don’t stop.
Let’s get to work!