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Woodams Clark's avatar

E M P A T H Y

I was raised without understanding empathy correctly. You did a really good job describing what it really is.

It’s being able to express your, and receive others’ realities.

For me what really helped understand empathy was by recording myself (made some YouTube videos) and watching myself back during editing.

That gave me the objective experience of me and it was very useful to remap my perception of me to the reality of others experience objective experience of me.

There were a lot (less now) of assumptions about how I thought people received me, and watching a recording of me tore those down. Tore down the subjectivity of my self-perception.

I think we get anxious at the idea of watch out ourselves on video, or *gasp* listening to our own voices played back 🤣 exactly because we know we’ll have to face our true selves. And yeah, it sucks at first. But then you realize you’re just being childish and there’s such great value in it.

Being anxious avoidant made me avoidant of my self-perception and that greatly limited my ability to interact with others; I never realized that until I grew out of it.

Everything you said is true. Getting a better grasp on my reality has let me better share my, and receive other’s realities.

That let me understand we each have a separate, but valid reality. Socializing is sharing realities.

A limited, or undeveloped, empathy unintentionally leads us to narcissism - overdeveloped ego.

Developed empathy empowers us to find, acknowledge, and enforce our boundaries and having our own boundaries helps us to empathize with (respect) others’ boundaries.

It was never obvious to me that I lacked good boundaries or even knew what they looked like. Much less how to defend and confront them. And even less how others had their boundaries.

Boundaries define the limits of how we let our own realities interact with others. That’s very important for socializing. But you can get by faking it (masking) for a lifetime and never know the power of grasping empathy.

Would be interested to know what lead you to realize/learn this

Great post

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