One of the reasons new habits can be so difficult to build is that they’re often cast as a zero-sum game.
Either you’re perfect, or you’ve failed at building the habit.
Didn’t make it to the gym 5 times in the first week of January like you said you would? Failed.
Didn’t stick to your new diet this weekend? Failed.
Had a glass of wine 6 days into dry January? Failed.
The irony is that nearly anyone that has built whatever habit you’re trying to build is very much imperfect in their execution of said habit.
Fasting is a habit of mine. But I don’t fast every day.
Working out is a habit of mine. But I don’t work out every day.
Eating well is a habit of mine. But I don’t eat well every day.
Breath work is a habit of mine. But I don’t do breath work every day.
The words we use matter, because words have baggage.
If habits are historically a zero-sum game for you, try creating new rituals instead.
Rituals don’t ask you to be perfect. They invite you into the experience.
Fasting is a ritual as I sip that first cup of black coffee that settles me into the day.
Working out is a ritual as my mind relaxes into that first hamstring stretch.
Eating well is a ritual as I watch the butter sizzle and crack the eggs on top.
Breath work is a ritual as I take those first few deep inhales and my skin begins to tingle.
And on the days that the ritual gets squeezed out by something else?
There’s a reason this post is titled Ritual-ish.
✌️ and ❤️,
Adam Griffin