Nearly every night one of my kids comes up to me and asks "Daddy, can we fight?".
And without fail, we head down to the basement and transform into superheroes and villains "fighting" each other to save the world. I'm usually bestowed the character of Batman by my son, but sometimes he lets me be a transformer triceratops.
I am asked to fight so often that most nights I'm just waiting for them to ask. The answer always being the same - yes.
If I'm stressed, I say yes.
If I'm sad, I say yes.
If I'm angry, I say yes.
If I'm tired, I say yes.
The reason is because I don't have a choice. I mean, I could technically say no, but why? I know they will immediately ask to watch tv if I say no, and I'd just be letting external forces (like the aforementioned stress or anger) dictate how I interact with my kids.
So instead I say yes. And we always have a blast. Whatever mood I came into the fight with, I left with a smile.
And that is why sometimes it's good to not have a choice.
It's the same reason having calls with our colleagues in this Zoom-first world forces us to pull ourselves together for the day.
It's the same reason having responsibilities at home - kids, pets, a significant other - forces us to maintain somewhat of a controlled schedule.
It's the same reason having an early call, or an early morning personal training session, or an important early meeting forces us to take it easy the night before.
These are things we could choose a different path with, but we rarely do because the trade-off doesn't make sense.
Personal development is about making it easy to succeed and difficult to fail. Putting ourselves in these types of situations means we're putting ourselves into a system that works in our favor.
I like my autonomy. But autonomy has limits, and sometimes it's good to not have a choice.
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