As a coach and leader, I have a lot of conversations about the seemingly big decisions in life.
Career paths.
Trade-offs.
What to do next.
The conversations and outcomes all take their own form, but there’s one common observation among most of them:
We rarely take the time to understand what we want out of life.
Instead, we take decisions and mull around at surface-level with them.
Our career decisions are muddied by what we think we’re “supposed” to be doing.
Our income satisfaction derives from how we compare to our friends and peers.
Our relationships hover around the “okay” mark.
And the stuff we say is important gets squeezed out of our calendars.
The root of everything above is our insatiable desire to fit in. To be good enough. To not stand out too much, lest someone raise an eyebrow.
So tension is all that remains.
What do I actually want?
This question holds power because it demands that we move beneath the surface.
Actually subtly nudges us beyond the first answer that comes to mind. And it’s not until or 3rd or 4th answer that we get closer to the truth.
We want more money, but what we really want is more autonomy.
We want to change career paths, but what we really want is work that’s engaging. We want that new title, but what we really want is to feel appreciated.
Life is filled with false summits.
We climb our asses off only to find the summit persistently out of reach. Or worse, we find we’ve been climbing the wrong mountain.
Decisions, those pesky things that shape our entire lives, are an inside job. They can’t be co-opted from our peers, friends, and followers.
What do I actually want? And what’s in my control to do about it?
When we can answer those two questions we don’t have to worry about false summits. It’s just one foot in front of the other, enjoying the trail as much as we can as we go.
If you find value in the things I publish here, it’d mean the world if you’d share it with someone else. It’s the only way this space and community continues to grow.
✌️ and ❤️,
Adam Griffin